Food Rants

I'm currently reading The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain. This book really feeds into my food snobbery (not that I need any encouragement in this department). I hardly ever eat fast food, which really isn't such a milestone because (1) my family almost never ate it when I was a kid, and (2) I love to cook so why go for take out? I do, however, eat out at other chain establishments from time to time that may taste slightly better, but I know for certain that the food isn't any healthier. I'd like to eat out far less than I do (which is only about once or twice a week) and I'd like to be pickier about where I choose to spend my money and what I stuff down my gullet. The problem is that so often food choices are made for us: "I brought you a donut!", for example.

Today my department had to attend a professional development at school from 9-3 and the assistant principal surprised us by offering to go get Applebee's - and she was buying. Applebee's is really only a small step up from fast food in my book, but what am I going to say? "No thanks, I brought some carrot sticks and hummus"? And, even though I am ever SO snobby about so many food products, I absolutely love all things fried and could eat onion rings, fried mushrooms, and pretty much anything breaded until I die of a canola-oil-induced-heart attack!

Regardless, I'm loving this section from the chapter "The Evildoers" in Bourdain's book. Sure I violate some of my own snobbish rules by occasionally nibbling on a Cool Ranch Dorito, but if you're breaking your own rules, who cares, right?

"Whenever possible, try to eat food that comes from somewhere, somebody. And stop eating so fucking much. A little portion control would go a long way in slimming down our herds of heavyweights in their tent-like T-shirts, Gap easy-fit pants, and baggy shorts...

"You may as well stop snacking on crap while you're at it. You don't need that bag of chips between meals, do you? You're probably not even enjoying it. Save your appetite for something good! Take a little more time! All that rage and frustration, that hollow feeling so many of us feel--for so many good reasons--can be filled up with something better than a soggy disk of ground-up assholes and elbows. Eat for nourishment, yes, but eat for pleasure. Stop settling for less..."

In my old age I have decided that "rant" is my new favorite genre. Needless to say, Bourdain and I have been good friends for some time (not in the literal sense, of course, but in the sense that I dream about his sentence structure and relish in his use of unusual yet completely exacting vocabulary)... English teacher dream ending.....now.

And speaking of food, I must update you on the most delicious pork roast I made today, but the husband insists on subjecting my mind to gratuitous violence and is waiting on my to start the video, Machete. Another time I'll tell you how I feel about media violence. I bet you can guess :)