A Week of Detox

I've never been one to handle stress well. I do some good work when under pressure, but during this time my relationships with others may suffer. I've gotten better about taking things out on others - namely, the husband; however, it seems that I've turned my frustrations inward. I've been journaling a bit lately and, when I looked back over the last month, I found it to be quite telling. Small things are turning into big things (in both my thoughts and my behaviors) and I'm noticing some common trends:

- Frustration with my increasing fattness (the baby is 20 months this week, I can't blame pregnancy anymore)

- Work stresses (oh, there are so many... too many to list here...)

- The presence of toxic personalities in my life and my inability to handle these well (I have great comebacks about 2 days later)

- Then there are the daydreams of things I'd like to be doing, but never have time for. I'm often thinking fondly of these things that I'll do someday.

- My growing dislike of myself and my personality (I'm guessing this is a result of the aforementioned stresses)

So I'm using this next week as a detox. A life detox.

I've identified some places of stress and will be removing them from my life, then using this spare time for more meditation and maybe even tacking a project or two that I actually want in my life:

Communication

I really don't spend much time on Facebook and I do use it to promote this blog so I can't really cut it completely, however, I will ONLY be using Facebook to promote new blog posts. I will not be reading other people's dramas because I am detoxing from taking on other people's problems.

I am also using my phone for only outgoing calls (and obviously important calls, if necessary). I will not be taking any calls and I will not be making any social calls. Business only. I'm going to keep my phone on silent actually because the sound of incoming texts causes me unnecessary horror on some days because they just come in one after another, after another (future rant: if your text is longer than one text message-worth, then pick up the phone and call!!)

Toxins

In my life, toxins come in the form of people and food. I am going to spend some time thinking about people who are really not helping me in my life. Even Buddhism recognizes that we sometimes must choose for ourselves. We must surround ourselves with people who build us up, support us, make us feel good about ourselves and I think I have a few people who are not doing this - despite how much effort I put in to make their lives better.

In addition, I am going to physically remove myself from situations that are not productive: lunch with co-workers, getting cornered in the copy room by the school whiner, etc. I will not be the school counselor this week. (With the exception of students because I believe this to be a part of my job and I consider myself damn good at my job).

In regards to food, I eat pretty well, but I have been suffering from some major digestive issues lately and, according to a handsome, muscular man at GNC, stress can affect digestion. So rather than the "colon blow" route, I decided on a modified detox diet. I still have to cook for husband and toddler so going all raw all week is probably unlikely. My plan is raw fruits and veggies for breakfast, lunch, and snacks, and a healthy dinner. Not a true detox, but something to at least make me feel like I'm giving my insides a good cleaning. The hardest part? Giving up coffee. Tonight I indulged in a coffee with some Bailey's. Tomorrow? Tea.

The Fun Part?

• I'm going to dust off my yoga DVDs and get back at it.
• I'm going to work out everyday (some how this habit faded weeks ago)
• I'm going to keep journaling.
• I'm going to start a book for pleasure, one that is not related to teaching.
• I'm going to try and plan my days so that I feel more in control of my life.
• I'm going to stay home and play with my baby every chance I get because he is the ONLY thing that ALWAYS makes me uncontrollably happy.
• I might meditate at lunch. I used to do this from time to time, but lately it has been replaced by running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get things done.
• I'm going to have sex, with my husband of course (and if you think this is TMI, then you are a prude - I'm a 29 year old married woman with a child - I am allowed to talk about sex!)

A Confession

Let's be honest, this is lofty and I am only moderately self-disciplined. These are goals. I know I cannot live this way day in and day out forever, but I feel like things have gotten out of my control and I think this is a beginning of getting them back. I'll do my best and keep you posted!